Friday, April 18, 2014

I smell the coffee on your lips

Hazelnut, mixed with words you refuse to speak to me

I smell the butterscotch on your skin

Like Jeffrey pines, mixed with caresses you refuse to lavish me with

I smell the pie in your hair

Enticing blueberry, mixed with thoughts you refuse to reveal to me

I close my eyes, and start to inhale, inhale, inhale.

How can rejection be this insanely sweet?

Sunday, October 27, 2013

"Strauch, mad painter, isolates himself from the world by retreating to the hamlet of Weng near Schwarzach im Pongau. His surgeon brother has Strauch watched by his young medical assistant, who narrates the book. The inn where Strauch resides is managed by a woman with a husband in prison and an endless sequence of lovers. The story includes a significant amount of violence and murder."

Friday, June 21, 2013

Lemon Lollipops

First, I just want to tell you that I have quite a number of celebrity crushes in my mind right now but I just had to post this person first because he is one of the only two boys I absolutely like from his country.

My featured guy today is from Korea. Save your judgments because I am definitely not one of those thousands of Filipino girls who will gladly give their lives away to those Korean boys sporting multicolored hair, high-end fashion, and sometimes, a bit of ridiculous make-up, singing and dancing to mostly pop songs. Aside from not being a fan of Kpop, they are all too pretty and cute for me, which unfortunately do not suit my taste at all. I like guys who dress simply but impressively, coupled with a "silent, cranky" look. Don't get me wrong, though! The bad boy image attracts me but I like the inherently good guys the best. *wink wink*

My featured guy is, to be honest, not one of the hottest and most good-looking ones out there. I am quite sure  you do not even know him. He is not even my type! He has obviously an Asian face (yes, I rarely get attracted to a chinito!) and he's slim.  However, there are things about him (which you will read about later) that fascinate me. I should have actually started writing this post a loooooong time ago but academic demands did not allow me so... here goes my boy!

Name: Sung Jun
Birthday: 10 July 1990
Birthplace: South Korea
Height: 187 cm
Blood Type: B
Occupation: Model, Actor

1. I like his poker face, especially his irate face.


2. I like his small smiles (he almost never fully smiles) / his smirks.

3. I like his funny faces (he makes effort in making them because his default face is his annoyed face).

4. Like what I have mentioned earlier, I actually don't like lanky guys but there's always an exception to things. There's something about the way he carries himself that makes him sexy.


5. He can play the guitar!

6. He can sing!

This song is entitled "Today" which he sang in one of his dramas, "Shut Up, Flower Boy Band." He only did a lip synch in this episode but it's actually his vocals used for the song.

Another song that he sang for "Shut Up, Flower Boy Band" entitled "Jaywalking." 

7. I have embedded a short video here of one of his interviews, which includes three things I love about him: his deep, husky voice; his awkwardness (observe how he avoids eye contact most of the time); and how he talks lazily.

8. I like the fact that he can speak in English and Japanese fluently. He went to school in England. (I couldn't find a good video on YouTube, though. Sorry!)

9. I like his music preference!!! (Here's an excerpt of one his interviews)

What kind of music do you listen to? 
Sung: I used to like modern English bands like Kasabian and Jet but now I like older bands. Just recently, my friend asked me if I listened to The Doors and I was hooked with their songs, such as “Alabama Song.” I also like hip-hop music like Kanye West’s, while it’s been years since I started to listen to hip-hop after listening to Eminem in middle school (laugh). I don’t listen to a full song but I’m the kind of person who just flips through songs. For example, I could find a hip-hop beat to be interesting but after a few minutes, I would play another song. But when I have a specific song that I like, I would listen to it over and over again. When shooting for “Shut Up,” I was obsessed with Radio Head’s “Fake Plastic Tree” and listened to it nearly 200 times. If it’s not that, I just listen to music like I’m studying it. Like analyzing how the guitarist played his instrument in the song and stuff.

To end this post, here are three of my favorite GIFs of him:

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

The first and last letter to the injured and confused soul - while apathy hasn't surfaced yet


Los Angeles, CA

To You,

"Everything, from day one to the last day that you've been together, I saw it as a spiral, no, a mosaic of dreams and nightmares; of gain and loss; of love and apathy. In as sense, it was a collection of surreal days -things that went beyond her expectations, and I did not really have any of such. This letter may seem odd, and my words may sound weirder than how I usually am. But I have to write this down, and tell you of my sentiments.

As what I've told you before, thank you for the dream. It was an absurd and irresponsible move of ours but I do not regret it, not in the sense that I was not thinking of that person waiting for me; or not putting in to mind the person occupying your heart. I do not regret it because I made a lost soul feel bliss for a short period of time. This being does not seek for any form of gratitude, believe me. Your soul expressed genuine feelings for another. I had refused you in all opportunities given, yet eventually I gave in (to my surprise). My reason for doing so - from the entwining of fingers, to the touch of your palm on my skin, to the kisses that I allowed you to shower upon me, and even the words of adoration that i refused to listen to - you may not understand the way I'd want you to understand thus I will not explain in full. However, one thing is of certainty, it was done to make you feel loved.

You are an interesting lad even though you love to bullshit your way and play with the art of politics. I've seen so many sides you enough to respect you. And it was an honor to witness your moments of pride, kindness, frailty and idiosyncrasies. Well, I think many others feel the same way, though you may refuse to believe it. The many sides not only made me respect you, but it also made me despise you.

The woman that you thought you had fallen in love with seemed cold and apathetic. It was a way of protecting herself, because she loves another, dearly, and she is not stupid enough to forget that you belong to someone else. Remember, time and time again she'd tell, "You will be with her". And by her, she meant your person.

That young woman complied, with what you had pressed her on, out of love for the lost and confused, never out of pity. She did love you but never on the same page as yours. Despite her being an evil existence and enveloped with pretensions, she has a heart and soul - and she loved you in her own way. Her defense was on so as not to allow things to go any further. You may have seen her vulnerability, her tears, but that doesn't give you, or anyone, any right to have a claim on her. You don't know her.

And those tears were true.Tears that weren't shed for love, but for the diminishing of the dream to the fact that reality was sinking in. Falsities were shared and the probable consequence of the situation will come. You heard her during that time, right? "It's not supposed to be like this," she uttered while crying. It hurt, and it will still hurt. Our friendship was not supposed to be the sacrifice of it all. Yet, the moment you've laid your eyes on her that way, you've already lost her. That is the case. You can never go back. She can never go back. I can never go back.

You had said that what we had was one of the purest things that you've ever experienced. I only listened, but never did I agree nor believe it. I only believed that you felt genuine feelings for it. But it never changed the reality of our situation. That's why "No, we can't" was my constant answer. It gave me pain to hurt you constantly, even though I'm not entirely sure if we shared the same sentiment. And did you know, that crying was my way of saying "I'm tired of hurting you again and again because I can never belong to you. You know that. We know that,"? Why did you have to carelessly utter endearing words, words that i wouldn't and will never trust?
I've understood the reality of it all and will not dwell on it any longer. You'd always asked me "where have I been all those years?" And I would just laugh. I guess, I was still growing up. I just wish, somewhere in your heart and mind, you'll treasure the memories you've made with that girl in - . She was a living paradox, according to you, who made you happy in that fleeting moment - even if you believed that your feelings were never fleeting.

Like always, thank you for the dream - and the nightmares to come. I pray that however foolish we are, we'll still be capable of healing.

The One that Got Away

Sunday, April 7, 2013

Download Wednesday Mixes No.1: Daugters

  1. Keep the Streets Empty For me - Fever Ray
  2. Hunter - Bjork 
  3. We Are On Fire - CocoRosie 
  4. The Sun - Soap&Skin 
  5. I Turn My Arm - Gazelle Twin 
  6. Heartbeats - The Knife 
  7. To Be With Others - Chinawoman 
  8. Whisky Sour - Molly Nilsson 
  9. Here Before - Fever Ray 
  10. Heartbeat - Gazelle Twin
Available for download here.

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

To Live a Life like that of Ruby Sparks - for 12 days.

Ruby Sparks
A movie love and magic, of feeling good and free, and ethereal. Wrong.
It shows how men can manipulate lives and women being anything and anyone her partner wants her to be.

"She" lived an entirely different life for twelve days. In a big city with a walking empty shell, she manifested. She was astonishing, enchanting and the "perfect one" for him. She played a role. A role that didn't go with her principles. It was as if she was in a trance while in a big city of lights and dreams, far from reality. She was "his" not in that sense. But it held something. Of course, it was with a time limit. Everything went on in a spiral, the using and be used, the false love, the pretension, and the make believe. She played a good role. And she enjoyed it very much.

however, it ended with the proof that how she'd seen him, is how he really is. The role was played well. and now is left in the cold, waiting for the warmth of the Truth.

She loved and hated those 12 days. Now, it's apathy. End.